Create Your Own Adventure

A few weeks ago I had a weekend free of obligations. No chores, no visits with friends, no meet-up with like-minded writers – simply me and my space. My first reaction was to strip down naked and run around my fledgling apartment bellowing, “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” The sense of expanding freedom lifted my spirits to where I wanted to flame on and SOAR.

But soar where? Where would I go? What would I do?

Quickly my sense of freedom morphed into a daunting sense of dread. I had to do something, right? I couldn’t have a day free and simply not accomplish anything. Productivity was in order! I needed to embrace that Effort Engine and chug-chug-choo-choo to something wonderful or I’d feel guilty!

Whoa there, Nelly. Who said it had to be productive? Why not just get your ass out of the house?

So I did. For one day I pretended my life was one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books. Want to explore that cave — turn to page 23. Say yes to the handsome man offering you coffee — turn to page 17. Save the dragon from the army horde — turn to page 5. I changed my perspective from Getting Shit Done, to “How many cool experiences can I rack up today?”

I did some journal writing at my favourite coffee shop. I treated myself to an awesome lunch of awesomeness (with bacon!). I walked spontaneously into a salon where they were able to fit me in for a much needed hair cut and then I walked out thirty minutes later lighter on my feet. I knitted in public. When the day was slowly drawing to a close, I found myself at the neighborhood pub having a pint and a devilish dessert (regardless of the fact I didn’t finish my dinner. What would mother think??). Jotting some last thoughts in my journal, a bell went off in my head.

*Ding!*

“Create your own adventure,” I wrote, “don’t wait for someone to offer you one.”

How amazingly simple. So simple, we tend to forget it in this age of RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and TWEET ALL THE THINGS and FB POKE ALL THE FRIENDS. The best way to connect to the World is to disconnect. I had conversations with real people in real reality. I interacted. I watched birds bouncing around for muffin crumbs. I laughed with a nearby toddler. I smiled at the sun. I thanked the Gods for a truly satisfying day and the delicious stout I was drinking.

Lately that has become my motto. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it’s partly due to one of my best friends dying back in October and then having my 42nd birthday. One could call it a Mid-Life Crisis, but I don’t believe it’s anything that shallow. I’m not dating a younger man or driving suped up classic muscle car. I believe the PTB (Powers That Be) are reminding me how fucking lucky I am to have a body that works, a mind that’s still sharp, a heart that’s strong, and a sense of child-like wonder and play that has not diminished over the years. Lift is too short to simply sit around and wait for someone to offer you an amazing experience. You have the power to create it all on your own.

So go do it.

Podcast for Thought

I have a few goals this year to help instill more discipline within my character. Not that I’ve always been a scatter brain. Quite the contrary, I’ve been able to accomplish some amazing things in my lifetime because of my dedication (eg: Complete 5 years worth of Priestesshood studies within 3). However, I also know myself to be a lazy ass if I allow it.

And I’m done with allowing it.

2010 is going to mark great change, great progress because my intent is phenomenally strong.

Goal of the First — write in my blog every day to the best of my ability. I say “best of my ability” because if I am down with The Crud™, I certainly will not have the energy to ticka-tacka out a few lines of prose. Or if I’m traveling and out of town. I never bring my laptop camping, so I doubt during festival weekends I’ll be huddled in my Coppery Barn triangulating the nearest wi-fi signal.

Goal of the Second — take a photo every day. Taking one is easy, posting it falls under the caveats of previous goal.

Goal of the Third — create a daily spiritual practice and stick with it. This is a biggie. Way back in the day I used to mediate after work. Every day. Folks noticed a difference in the energy I put out (“Nothing stresses you!”) and I noticed how less my feathers were ruffled. Over the past 14 years, my daily practice has been sporadic at best. I want to change that.

What has spurred this quest for inner discipline has been a long time coming, but today during my morning walk, I got a reminder. Not an Anvil or a Clue x Four, but an affectionate whop upside the back of the head ala Gibbs style.

For the past two weeks I’ve opted to not listen to heart-thumping music while I walk, but to a podcast by T. Thorn Coyle called “Elemental Castings”. Each week (or every other week) she focuses on each element and what they represent in our lives. Today’s was about FIRE: creativity, will, intent. Her guest speaker, Mark, was a man very connected to Energy and Fire. He started his practice way back in high school with martial arts and eventually came through to the Western Esoteric magick through his studies of the Eastern philosophies. Mark quoted everything from Buddhism, to Hinduism, to the Qabbalah regarding Will. But that is not what impressed me. What caught my intention is, for being such a fiery woman to begin with, I have not harnessed the power of my Will to its fullest capacity. To be able to do work with intent, intent to bring Joy into my life. I somehow allowed myself to get sucked up into the mundane worries we all have of bills, rent, and finding a job. I’ve been performing these jobs with no Joy and with only a mere tapping into the power of my Will.

Mark then shared his daily practice, which upon hearing made me feel very, very lazy. He gets up at 4:20am every morning to do his spiritual practice, part of which includes mantra chanting for one hour and doing some working stances out underneath the sun. This does not include his three times a week nightly practice.

I need that. I’ve been feeling the strong need for that, but I have not been complying. I’ve been allowing myself to get distracted with knitting and reading and writing. Not being creative to infuse creative intent, but to keep my mind off of things I know I should be doing.

Bad Ember.

“You have two choices. You can either be a Slave or a Master,” rang through my earbuds. I sucked in my breath and listened. “You can chose to meditate for an hour or chose to waste your time watching that tv show. Your choice.” Yes. I have a choice. Quite elementary logic in thought, but in practice not so much.

So, I’ve made a choice. I choose to be a Master.

7/365

Five Days In

Okay.

So far so good.

Five days into the spankin’ New Year and I’ve been able to keep up with 365/2010 and NaBloPoMo. Hot damn!! This is great news for me. Me being a procrastinating lazy ass who gets easily distracted. I might learn some focus this year after all.

This afternoon I opted to listen to some electronically empowered cello music by local artist Adam Hurst. One Last Thursday a few years ago on Alberta Street, I came upon him playing on the corner. I loved his sound, his style and was transfixed even then. Part etheric, part haunting, part futuristic. I purchased his CD, “Passages” and it is one of my preferred albums to meditate to.

So it begins, but how will it end?

I have a confession to make.

I SUCK at follow-through. Truly. Over the past few years I have started, designed, and prettified almost 10 online journals only to have them collect dust and singe their pages into ashy nothingness. When it comes to ideas, I have a plethora. I can execute them with drill team precision, but when it comes to maintaining a journal I fall embarrassingly short. The shiny is gone. I move onto another project which will keep my interest.

Well, as this is the start of a new year (by pagan standard), I am turning over a new autumn leaf. My goal is to keep this WordPress journal updated and active for one whole year. My reward at the end of the 365 day commitment is I will purchase a full-fledged domain for THE WANDERING LANTERN and make it my primary blog.

Do we have a deal?

Artwork credit goes to Jarons20 @ DeviantArt.com